the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
