Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
