So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You are the jesus of drinking
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
