You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
