Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
