So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In America we eat man semen.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
