Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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