I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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