Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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