He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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