i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
