Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize