How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
