So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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