I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
