I could make wine with my vomit
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
