You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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