pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Two words: nipple clamps
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