3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
