So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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