But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
