they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
