I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
