We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
