What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
