the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
