thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
