Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
