Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
