You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
