Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
