that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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