She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
