Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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