On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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