How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
