im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Randomize
