Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
