Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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