god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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