is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
