I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
