The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think i have two assholes
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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