therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
