But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
