dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
