He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
