drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
