i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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