Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
